The first few days, often weeks, are tough. There are no words to describe how empty and clouded it will feel. There is a distinct feeling of disbelief, and panic. Everything you once knew - both in your present and your future - has altered. As part of a couple, you had so many colors and images in front of you, forming your future with another person, and that picture has been taken away. Suddenly there is emptiness and a blank canvas, and it's terrifying.
The thing to remember at this point is that every feeling, every dark thought, is totally and utterly normal. What you are experiencing is incredibly hard, deeply painful, but don't put pressure upon yourself to feel anything else. Let the emotion wash over you and do one thing only - be kind to yourself. Imagine you were greeted with a friend in your position, so desperately lost and afraid, and imagine how you would treat them. You would be kind, let them sleep, shelter them from any more pain, and let them talk or cry, or sit silently, whatever they needed to do. You would not punish them with ideas of what they did wrong, you would not remind them to contact their ex partner and beg them back, and you would not encourage them to stop taking care of themselves.
So you need to do this for yourself. You will not feel like it yet, you won't feel like doing anything, but do what you can to be kind to you. Go to a safe place, preferably where somebody can take care of you, and let yourself grieve.
The thing to remember at this point is that every feeling, every dark thought, is totally and utterly normal. What you are experiencing is incredibly hard, deeply painful, but don't put pressure upon yourself to feel anything else. Let the emotion wash over you and do one thing only - be kind to yourself. Imagine you were greeted with a friend in your position, so desperately lost and afraid, and imagine how you would treat them. You would be kind, let them sleep, shelter them from any more pain, and let them talk or cry, or sit silently, whatever they needed to do. You would not punish them with ideas of what they did wrong, you would not remind them to contact their ex partner and beg them back, and you would not encourage them to stop taking care of themselves.
So you need to do this for yourself. You will not feel like it yet, you won't feel like doing anything, but do what you can to be kind to you. Go to a safe place, preferably where somebody can take care of you, and let yourself grieve.
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